What is it about summer that so begets boozing? The sizzling temps, the skimpy clothes, the longer days, and sweltering nights — all just goad you to get a good buzz going.
So in the interest of summer imbibing, Short Order spoke to mixologists at some of Miami’s most creative bars for a few refreshing recipes you can create at home.
Cheers to what’s sure to be one hot summer.
Bottomless booze is a beautiful thing. And nothing says Sunday morning hangover cure like free-flowing bubbles (or bloodies). Lucky for the lush among us, there are lots of Miami brunch spots offering weekend libations to soothe that queasy stomach and bring back that pleasant buzz.
So next time Saturday night’s festivities leave you a little worse for the wear, here’s a lineup of eateries where you can get your day drinking on. Cheers.
When it comes to South Florida, what we lack in hills and valleys we make up for in stunning scenery. So why not take in a bit of that blue-skied beauty with a Key Biscayne Bike Adventure? This two-wheeled jaunt will give you an up-close and personal glimpse of our city’s picturesque barrier island. Let naturalist guides regale you with tales of the island’s history.
There are three types of people: those who dig art and know a lot about it, those who dig art and know nothing about it, and those who don’t give a mierda either way.
I am of the second persuasion.
I can sum up my philosophy on the art I like with the wise words of Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart: “I know it when I see it,” (Ok, so he was mostly referring to porn, but the dude had a way with words).
The art-educated (IE, the people who know Britto actually isn’t Miami’s most brilliant citizen) and the art ignorant can walk the streets together, cocktails in hand, Instagram apps poised and ready. The galleries open their doors, showcase their wares and ply Miamians with luscious libations.
Hippies, rejoice. The free love, free hugs, free spirited days of the Woodstock era are alive and well (even in Miami). Every month, as the pie in the sky reaches its full glory, dozens of offbeat Miamians gather to dance, drink, drum and bask in the joy of living on a remote stretch of North Beach.
As the drums start to beat, get up to groove. Interpretive dance is the gist of it, so wave your arms, hop around, shake your tail-feather; lose your inhibitions. As Johnny Castle once said, feeeeeel the music. Get liberated.
Easter Sunday is almost upon us, and for plenty of people, that means stiff church pews, guilt-inducing sermons, and forced family time.
All that stuff gets old quick, even among the pious. And we at Cultist are, well, not so pious.
If you’re like us — i.e. you didn’t know Easter was this weekend until your mom called to passive-aggressively ask you which church service you’d be attending — you’re probably looking for ways to spend this Sunday that are a little less traditional. And we’ve got you covered.
Check out these five ways to get your seven deadly sins on this Easter.
As Mother’s Day approaches, we’re reminded of the tireless efforts of the women who lovingly raised us into the neuroses-plagued adults we are today. They cooked for us, they cleaned up after us, they dressed our wounds and taught us manners. And along the way, they left us with more than a few emotional battle scars.
But despite the many flaws of our maternal role models, most of us should thank our lucky stars. After all, it could have been worse. Much worse.
Just take a look at this list of abusers, murderers, and straight-up sociopaths. You’ll be kissing your momma’s feet in no time, even though you’re still mad at her for dressing you up as a Care Bear on Halloween years ago.
Being a grown-up is pretty lame. Go to work, run errands, pay bills. The daily grind is so boooooring. So who doesn’t love an opportunity to let your kid flag fly?
Enter the Color Run, a 5K of straight-up silliness that ends in a cornucopia of chromacity. You haven’t seen so many hues since your finger-painting days.
This stateside-famous event is all about entertainment: just a fun-for-all jaunt in which participants get pelted with a rainbow of “magical color dust.” (No, really, that is exactly how it’s described at the website.) You can run, walk, or skip the 3.1 miles. And there’s no timing, no pressure, no overly serious athletes, or other buzzkills.
According to authorities, there’s a good chance that last week’s face-eating incident was the result of mind-altering drugs. (Just say no, kids.)
But according to the rest of us, it may signal the beginning of an inevitable threat Hollywood has warned us about for years: a zombie apocalypse. (Just ask The Miami zombie.)
Naturally, we’re all a little concerned that the undead may choose our sunny paradise as their next city of smorgasbord. After all, the heat is nice and lubricating for their stiff limbs.
So, in the interest of being prepared, we spoke to zombie expert Jonathan Maberry, author of Zombie CSU: The Forensics of the Living Dead on how best to survive a zombie apocalypse. Y’know, just in case.
Before I met Miami, my life was a series of mercurial moves. I was a wanderer; a gypsy; always fleeing in earnest from one city to another. A “rambling (wo)man”, so to speak. In the words of Hank Williams, “Some folks may say that I’m no good/That I wouldn’t settle down if I could/But when that open road starts to calling me/There’s something o’er that hill that I gotta see.”
That was me. From Honolulu to Laramie and New York City to Napa; from Dallas to Washington, DC and Panama City Beach to Hollywood: my nomadic nature led me from one new city to another; free to begin anew, alone and unhindered.
Relationships were ended. Furniture was given away. Friends were left behind. Jobs were quit. After nine months or so in a new place, the familiar feelings of discontent would roll in like the tide and I’d be planning my next escape.
Then, I met the Magic City, and everything changed.